Here’s the opening of my sit-com!

This is my semi-autobiographical sitcom I briefly worked on a couple years back.  I only went four episodes into it but I have the rough strokes of the entire series laid out.  Think of it as Big Bang Theory if they were all morons. 🙂

EPISODE ONE

TEASER

EXT. HOUSE

INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY

HEATHER, 20 something brunette girl, is dragging a wheeled suitcase out of a bedroom until she runs into STEPHEN, a dopey looking blonde 20 something guy with a melodramatically heartbroken look on his face.

STEPHEN                              Don’t leave.

HEATHER (smiles)            I have to Stephen, you know that. I can’t live here anymore.

STEPHEN                              But… I need you.

HEATHER                             You’ll be fine. You have Alex.

STEPHEN                              Yeah, but he kinda sucks…

HEATHER                             He’s your best friend. You’ll be fine.

STEPHEN                              Will you still make movies with us? We need someone to be Slave Leia when we get to Jedi!

HEATHER                             Yes, I’ll still make movies with you, and no, I told you a million times, I’m not going to wear a metal bikini!

STEPHEN reaches forward to grab onto the end of her coat like a child.

STEPHEN                              You can’t leave, Heather! We need you!

HEATHER lovingly puts a hand to his cheek like a child.

HEATHER                             Oh, Stephen… you realize I was dating Alex, right?

STEPHEN (unperturbed)                               Yes, but we need you to pay rent!

HEATHER chuckles and drops her hand, moving past him.

STEPHEN (calls after her)              No, seriously, we need your money!

INT. DOWNSTAIRS MAIN ROOM

HEATHER drags her suitcase along, passing ALEX a mopey looking crew cut brown-haired 20 something guy with his arms crossed, not making eye contact.

ALEX (monotone)            So, you’re leaving then.

HEATHER (neutral)          Yep.

ALEX                                      Ok.

HEATHER                             Ok?

ALEX (flaps his arms out)              What do you want me to say? Don’t leave? You know I don’t want you to. I want you to stay.

HEATHER                             Alex, I can’t live here anymore. We broke up.

ALEX                                      So you can’t still be our roommate?

HEATHER                             Of course not! I can’t live with my ex boyfriend, nobody does that! Like any guy would want to date me.

ALEX                                      Nice to hear you’re already moving onto the next guy.

HEATHER (sighs)               I didn’t mean it like that, Alex, and I’m not. I just… can’t be here.

ALEX                                      We can’t afford to live here alone, you know.

HEATHER                             So Stephen keeps telling me.

ALEX                                      Seriously, we can’t afford it.

HEATHER                             So get a new roommate.

STEPHEN (off-screen, loud, shocked)     A NEW ROOMATE???

HEATHER (leans back to shout)  YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN (OS)                    I DON’T WANT TO! I LIKE YOU!

HEATHER                             I LIKE YOU TOO! BUT I GOTTA GO!

STEPHEN (OS)                    WHAT IF ALEX PROMISES NOT TO BE A DICK?

HEATHER                             YOU KNOW HE CAN’T FOLLOW THROUGH ON THAT!

ALEX (annoyed)                                Uh, I’m right here…

HEATHER (faces him, smiles)       Sorry. You know you can’t follow through on that.

ALEX                                      Ugh, just go already.

HEATHER                             I’m sorry, Alex.

HEATHER starts for the door.

ALEX                                      Have a nice life, I guess.

HEATHER (stops)              Alex. I told you. I want to still be friends.

ALEX                                      Just… not here.

HEATHER                             I’ll come visit. All the time. But I need my own place.

STEPHEN (OS)                    WHAT ABOUT OUR MOVIE?

HEATHER                             I’LL STILL WORK ON IT!

STEPHEN (OS)                    WHAT?

HEATHER                             I SAID I’LL STILL WORK ON IT!

STEPHEN (OS)                    ALEX, WHAT IS SHE SAYING?

ALEX                                      WHY DON’T YOU JUST COME DOWNSTAIRS?

STEPHEN (OS)                    I WANTED TO GIVE YOU GUYS SOME PRIVACY!

HEATHER                             BYE, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN (OS)                    WHAT?

HEATHER (smiles, wistful)            Good bye, Alex.

She leans forward to give him a hug. He squeezes back and it lingers longer than it should.

ALEX                                      Bye.

She smiles and leaves. Alex watches her go through the open door, looking thoughtful and sad.

STEVE N comes from downstairs.

STEPHEN                              Is she gone then…

(horrified)                           Oh my god! What are you doing?!

He rushes forward to close the door.

It’s winter! You’re losing all our heat!

ALEX                                      Yeah, I guess we’ll have to worry about that more now.

STEPHEN rushes about the room in a panic.

STEPHEN                              And why are all these lights on?! We don’t need all this light!

ALEX (sighs)                        We’re gonna need a new roommate.

TITLE CARD

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